


Better This Way

by eragon19



Category: Sherlock (TV)
Genre: Angst, M/M, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-20
Updated: 2014-12-20
Packaged: 2018-03-02 07:45:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 883
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2804888
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/eragon19/pseuds/eragon19
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"It was better this way. Flipping the collar of his coat up Sherlock walked away from the restaurant. Yes he thought, it was better this way." </p><p>When Sherlock goes to the restaurant to reveal he’s alive to John, what he sees changes everything.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Better This Way

Sherlock walked down the wet pavement toward the restaurant. It had been two years, two long years since he’d seen- since he’d been in London. He’d missed the city more than he liked to admit, he’d missed many things more than he’d like to admit.

He reached the restaurant and peered through the front window. It was fairly crowded with waiters bustling around and people chatting inanely. After a moment of searching Sherlock saw him, sitting at a table in the center of the restaurant. The black and white pictures Mycroft had shown him didn't do John justice. He looked older yes, and that moustache was absolutely awful, but it was still John. Still short, grey-blonde, ugly jumper wearing _John_ , no less than twenty feet away from him.

Sherlock took a deep breath and leaned his head against the cool glass of the window. He was nervous. After everything he’d been through, after two years of hell, he was nervous over something as simple as seeing John. Well, revealing ones faked death wasn't exactly simple, but it was John he was revealing himself too. John would forgive him. He would. He had to. He just had to. After all it was John who Sherlock had died for and fought so hard to return to. It was John who Sherlock lov-

“Is everything okay sir?”

Looking up in surprise Sherlock saw a waiter from the restaurant leaning out the door and giving him a concerned look. Giving him a curt nod Sherlock straightened up and flipped down the collar of his coat. Time to do it then. He appraised the waiter as they walked into the restaurant.

_Married two years, very pregnant wife..._

Just then the waiter’s phone beeped.

 _Aha, wife in labor then_.

“It’s probably your wife.” he said, as the man reached into his pocket, “calling to tell you the contractions just started.”

As the man scurried away, Sherlock turned back to John’s table, trying to formulate the best possible way to reveal himself. What he saw made his heart drop. John was still sitting there, only now he was fiddling with a box. A velvet box. A _ring_ box…

Sherlock swallowed. It couldn't be. Oh no, it just couldn't be.

Looking at John again he saw everything he’d missed. The details that showed John was living with someone, had been for a while now. As he stood there frozen John suddenly snatched the ring box off the table. A few moments later a smiling blonde woman slid into the seat opposite. John’s answering smile was just as bright...

“Sir? _Sir?_ ”

Sherlock jumped slightly. Yet another irritating waiter was at his elbow.

“Have you been seated yet sir?” The waiter’s voice was slightly exasperated, as if he’d asked the question several times before.

Without taking his eyes off John Sherlock slid into an empty table to his left. The waiter set a menu in front of him, gave him a strange look, said something Sherlock ignored and walked off.

Sherlock couldn't stop staring at John. His vision seemed to tunnel as he focused on him. How nervous John looked. How he stuttered slightly on certain words, how he kept trying to subtly pat his pocket with the ring and how, despite his nerves, John looked happy. The happiness was in his smile, in his eyes. The way he looked at the woman across from him made Sherlock’s heart clench.

He saw whine being poured, he saw John and the woman eat their meal, he saw John get more and more anxious as time passed. He saw that despite all of this John still glowed. The same way he’d glow after a case was successfully solved and he and Sherlock were alone into 221B….

Then he saw it.

He saw John take a deep breath and square his shoulders, he saw John reach into his pocket and take out the box. Saw John clear his throat and open it, saw his mouth moving. He was too far away to hear what John was saying.

The room seemed to blur. Sherlock was vaguely aware of the woman nodding and crying, of people in the restaurant applauding, all he could see was John. John’s joy. John’s laughter. John’s pure happiness. His happiness without Sherlock.

Blinking rapidly Sherlock stood up. He turned around and walked out of the restaurant. Flipping his coat collar up against the chill, he began to walk down the street. The image of John’s smile after the woman had said yes flashing across his vision.

It would be better this way. John was happy and that was all Sherlock wanted. John was happy, and he couldn't ruin that, as much as he wanted to. As much as he wanted to run back into the restaurant, grab John by the shoulders and tell him everything. How he’d jumped for him, how he needed him, how he lov-

Well, it was better this way.

Walking faster he put up the image of John’s smile on receiving a ‘yes’ in his mind palace, with a few minor adjustments. Mycroft had mentioned a mission in Prague that Sherlock had initially scoffed at, but now it didn't seem so bad. He took a deep breath and raised his hand for a cab.

It was better this way.

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first attempt at Sherlock fanfiction, so let me know what you think! It was just an angsty little idea that popped into my head, and demanded to be written.
> 
> Come check me on tumblr: sherlockreadspennydreadful.tumblr.com


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